I miss you. I wish everyday that I could be with you. Be the way we used to be. Before they forbid our binding. Sitting beneath you, realising how beautiful this world is when I look at you. Realising how silly we humans are when I speak to you. Tell you my deepest fears, my ever-growing sorrows. Tell you how my day was and how judgemental people are. Sometimes I do tell you, about the moments that make me smile. About the miracles that give me hope and the people that keep me whole. I tell you all. Everything. You know me like no other. And I know no other who can take your place. I miss you. I miss sitting beneath your shining stars thinking, becoming conscious of my actions, of my rights, of my wrongs and apologising in my mind with all my heart sometimes to people, sometimes to god. I miss it all. They told me one day that I couldn’t see you any more. That I couldn’t go to the terrace at night. Where else would I go. Where else can I go to speak to you again. Sit in silence with you knowing that it is enough if you understand. But I want you to know that I’m grateful for what we had. For what you gave me. Dear night sky, thank you. Thank you for enveloping me in your darkness and saving me from the darkness of my mind.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I think it must seem silly when I say I miss the night sky since it comes and goes every single day. But what I miss is not just the night sky but the moment I had with it. I used to go to the terrace in my apartment everyday at about 8 to see the night sky before they started closing the terrace by 7. There were these stairs on the terrace that I would sit on. I would play some music and look into myself before I looked at stars. Somedays I would walk on the terrace, moving as I watch the sky carefully. Noone was ever around. It was my safe space. I know I can see the night sky from the ground or from many other places. But what I miss is the moment. That particular moment at that particular place at that particular time that I had everyday. Although it may seem silly now, it was that which kept me sane.